Human Wisdom Can't Be the Standard

I have sat in a University classroom and heard the arguments for homosexual relationships and gay marriage. The most widely used arguments include the beliefs that 1. homosexuality is inherent--you are born that way 2. they are being discriminated against in the same way that the Blacks and Native Americans were 3. everyone has the right to do what makes him/her happy as long as it doesn't hurt someone else.


These beliefs appear legitimate and even Christian at first glance, so I began to pray and ask God why the Bible opposes homosexual behavior without equivocation. Why did the New Testament church continue to condemn homosexuality as well as adultery and fornication and idolatry while dismissing other Old Testament laws as unimportant, like eating pork, touching a woman on her menstrual cycle, and sacrificing animals?


First, the Bible makes it clear that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice so we no longer need to do the outward rituals to try to be right with God. Instead, we are to walk in holiness and purity so that our redeemed lives honor God. When we follow His standards and live within His boundaries, we are kept safe and protected from demonic influence as well as the natural consequences of a deviant lifestyle, which include all sorts of physical and mental illness as well as early death.


Second, if happiness and equality are the standard, folks, we are in big trouble. Sadists are happiest when they're torturing/raping someone. Drug dealers are happiest when they're filling our youth up with cocaine and heroine. Thieves are happiest when they're getting away with embezzlement. Pedophiles are happiest when they're having sex with our kids.


The same is true for saying that homosexuals are born that way. Pedophiles use the same argument, saying it is their genetic makeup to be attracted sexually to children. So whose children are we going to allow them to begin grooming? Do you have a problem with an 8-year-old having intercourse with a grown man? Serious vaginal and rectal damage occur whenever a pedophile "loves" a child.
So maybe our society will draw a strong, sharp line between homosexual love and pedophiles, but why? The very reasons to justify and legalize gay marriage open the door to child molesters convincing children that they "want" an adult to make love to them.


If in fact, we justify happiness only when it does no harm, then we must look again at the harm homosexual relationships cause long-term. If gay marriage doesn't hurt someone, why do studies reveal that the LGBT groups suffer more mental disorders, illnesses, and early death then any other group? Why do studies show that children suffer more when they are deprived of parents from each gender? And if happiness is so important to homosexuals, why are they now suing to get married in churches that don't agree with them? They're sure not concerned with other people's happiness if they're doing that!


Having different skin colors does no harm to anyone. But sexual orientations that diverge from one man-one woman do. God did not create a gay gene, nor would He command us to abstain from what we had no power to control. However, every person on this planet has a choice--unless forcibly raped or molested--of who to have sex with.


Sex outside God's law will never bring true happiness. True love is from God. Men, Jesus is the Man in love with you! Women, Jesus is full of love for you! And because He loves you passionately, He died for you and erected moral boundaries to keep you safe from the lies of the enemy, who comes to steal your true identity, health, and life!


You aren't born gay or lesbian, but we are all born with a sin nature that Jesus transforms when we embrace His True Love!!! The Apostle Paul explains that sexual sin is sin against one's own body and comes from the wrong belief that sex is for our happiness rather than God's glory. God designed marriage to reflect His relationship with the church and He chose to create two genders who unite as one to produce offspring.


Scriptures: Matthew 19:4-6, Acts 15:24-29, Romans 1:22-32, I Corinthians 6:9-20, I Thessalonians 4:3-8, Revelation 22:14-16


Research Sources:
http://catholiceducation.org/en/marriage-and-family/sexuality/the-health-risks-of-gay-sex.html
http://www.battlefortruth.org/ArticlesDetail.asp?id=235
http://www.familyresearchinst.org/2009/02/medical-consequences-of-what-homosexuals-do/
http://factsaboutyouth.com/posts/health-risks-of-the-homosexual-lifestyle/
http://standupforthetruth.com/2013/07/it-begins-pedophiles-call-for-same-rights-as-homosexuals/

My Protector

God is an awesome Protector! I’m so thankful He’s my Abba Daddy.

When I first became single again, a vast world of possibilities opened up to me or so I thought. I was free from negativity, criticism, and oppression, and I inhaled the fresh air of freedom with joy and gladness. Accompanying my joy, a deep longing to experience a kind, giving relationship bloomed inside me. I had a vault full of treasure to share and I longed to find a gentle, loving man to give it to.

My joy and motherly instincts attracted attention. A divorced man with two kids asked me to coffee. I suggested we meet at a park instead. He called me on the phone and my heart ached to mother his children and have my own home to care for again. Because I always seek to give grace, I brushed off the somewhat demeaning and arrogant way he talked to others. I told myself his jokes weren’t meant to be harsh. After each conversation, however, I felt a warning that his beliefs weren’t quite in line with Scripture. Attached to his kids, I kept downplaying the growing unease I felt. I offered to babysit his children, but God stepped in. He brought me into contact with people who told me a little more of this man’s background and his children’s strange behaviors. Torn between feeling judgmental and sick to my stomach when he talked about Sophia, a so-called Biblical member of the Trinity, I experienced a demonic attack. I knew exactly where the spirit had come from. A meeting with a new friend confirmed all the suspicions I had been trying to explain away. The man was into witchcraft and even boasted of being able to make his daughter fall asleep on command. I told the man I couldn’t hang out with him anymore because he did not have the same spirit as me. That week, he left the church.

God knows how difficult it’s been for me to learn to heed His still, quiet voice immediately. Attending college at the same time as me, an older man shared his story about a horrible war zone experience and his resulting PTSD and drug use. Clean and sober, he was determined to help others defeat addictions, for which I greatly admired him. I began praying for him and had received several visions of seeing him transformed by the love of Jesus. A year later, he and I ended up in the same class together. His eyes sparkled whenever he talked, his manner showed kindness, and he suggested getting together. I was excited to share the hope of Jesus, and overcame my usual reticence, giving him a music CD and my phone number. He said he’d call me, but as he shared a story about a former girlfriend, the Lord flashed the word “player” across my mind. I wanted to ignore it, but as he waved my number, I said, “I make friends with many kinds of people.” He didn’t call me. I started to feel really bad about the way I had phrased my boundary. I found his number in the phone book and called it, but the Lord already knew: the number was disconnected. As I threw away the paper I’d written it on, instantly it flashed into a condom. I prayed and prayed, listening to the man in class, watching his words and actions take on an aggressive manner around me. He was so strong on my heart, I pushed past his coldness and gave him a book on the Father’s heart. Daddy God wrapped my heart in His love, but the man’s warm, twinkling eyes were building a deeper attraction in me. I begged God for a clear answer, and God answered my prayer. I came to school at an unusual time and saw a woman with her hand on his thigh. She was enough of a friend and espousing Christian that later I asked her about his moral values. She laughed as she admitted he had slept with every willing girl on campus as well as her. Later they married, and I thanked God for forewarning and protecting me.

These incidents as well as others have solidified in me the necessity of heeding the gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit. God knows the spirit and nature of a person and reveals the truth when we ask.

Although I based on the title of my first book, Love that is Blind, on a 4Him song about the basics of life, I know now that Love is not blind. Our Father God sees clearly, forgives continually, and empowers us with the ability to change. That’s grace! He also puts up firm boundaries for our protection, warning us not to seek unity with someone who pursues worldly lusts.

Our Abba Daddy desires to protect us from toxicity, especially in romantic relationships. He desires marriage to be a fountain of blessing for a lifetime, but that can happen only when both partners live in surrender to Him.

Today God Speaks

For Christmas, a friend gave me the book "Heart of a Lioness" by Irene Gleeson, a missionary to the children of Uganda for 22 years before her death in 2013. She served in the heart of a war zone, founding a school and rescuing myriad children from the brutalities of being forced to be child soldiers and sex slaves. My friend said, "When I listened to an interview by her, the Lord whispered, "Get Ayrian the book."


I began reading it with reluctance. Irene's second husband left her on the mission field when the country decided to shut down the school even after the Australian couple had endured numerous hostilities and miraculous deliverances from death. All I could think was, "How depressing."


But I started reading with the question, "Okay, God, what is it You want to tell me?"


I read about Irene's salvation after years of rebelling against God and her recounting of the Lord's simple directives, guiding her and her husband, comforting her in loss, and strengthening her in adversity. I thought, "Well, You do that for me, Lord."


She shared about the Lord directing them to the mission field. I thought of the word God spoke to me when I realized He really did want me to go overseas: "I will give you everything you need." And He did.


She shared about God strengthening her to forgive and continue the school on her own after her husband abandoned her. I thought about the days I sat by myself in a little cabin during my DTS, struggling with loneliness and emotional abandonment. The Lord stepped into that cabin and spoke clearly to my heart, "I will never turn My back on you."


I recalled the times when God gently warned me of crisis, preparing my heart to respond like Jesus. He showed me something was wrong concerning my marriage while we were stationed in Germany, just nights before I found my husband viewing pornography. My response was filled with grief and yet forgiving.


Years later as I washed dishes, living with my children at my parents' house, the Lord placed a swift vision before my eyes. I saw a bonfire and my ex-husband burning hundreds of copies of my book Love that is Blind. The Lord said, "If he burns your book, will you forgive him?" I said, "Yes, Lord" and relegated the vision to the background of my mind, assuming the Lord had simply been testing my character. I didn't know how accurate the vision was until I discovered that over 10 boxes of my book that I had left in Oregon no longer existed. I said in shock, "God told me something like this would happen." My ex said derisively, "Serves you right."


The Lord has faithfully shown me numerous times visions and spoken words that bear witness to a current work He is doing or a direction He wants me to take for the future He has for me and the children. When I lived at my parents' home, I repeatedly saw visions of the children and I living in a two-story home with bedrooms upstairs, a white-picket fence and a tree in the yard. The visions were consistently the same but I didn't relate them to a prophecy. I just accepted this spiritual haven as a place where the Lord was gentle and kind to me, husband in my divorced state just as He had been in my hurt while married.


Then one day, I saw with my spirit my Heavenly Father's eyes twinkling as He said to me, "I have a surprise..." I tried to hear the rest, but His words trailed off, tantalizing, teasing, loving. That afternoon I received a call. There was a four-bedroom, two-bath home available for the kids and I in a good neighborhood if I wanted it. It had laundry hook-up and had been newly remodeled. I jumped at the chance, switching my deposit last minute from a much smaller home with no laundry hook-ups. That month as I climbed the stairs of my new home, the Holy Spirit opened my remembrance. I ran to the window and looked out and began to laugh with joy. The white picket fence wasn't around a large yard, but it was there, around my patio, and a small tree stood just a few feet beyond. And here I was--upstairs where the kids and I slept and prayed our bedtime prayers!


Even as I rejoiced over my new house, great distress hit me as two of my children's misbehavior at school escalated beyond my control. I cried and wept and begged God for help. The after-effects of divorce had become massive, triggering stress-related outbursts. In the middle of my day--agony a burden I couldn't shake--the Lord showed me a vision of a gorgeous orange sun on the horizon. He said, "What do you see?" I said numbly, "A sunset." For it felt like the end of hope to me. He said gently, "Look again. It's a sunrise." And as I looked again with the eyes of my spirit, the sun burst over gorgeous mountain peaks with all the beauty and promise of a brand new day.


Two weeks later as I drove the kids to school, we took a slightly different route to their new school, my heart still ached over whether I had made the right choice to transfer them and whether it would help. Just as I turned onto the street to their school, the exact replica of the vision appeared right before me in reality. My breath caught. The mountain peaks were gorgeous and snow-covered in the distance behind MountainView Elementary, and the sun was bursting up and over them with orange then sparkling yellow brilliance. How amazing! The Holy Spirit confirmed the truth within my soul and I knew with absolute certainty: I had made the right choice. We were going the right direction. Jesus would heal my children of their anger, confusion, and orphan hearts.


And you know what? He keeps doing exactly what He's said. Like Irene, I've been a missionary and I've struggled through fear and abandonment. But what the Lord wanted to show me as I've read her book is that we don't have to be on or heading to the mission field for Him to lead, comfort, and sustain us. He speaks to all of us, all the time. If we're listening. If we want His guidance. If we want Him.


It's just Who He is.

When Divorce is Mercy

(All Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James except where indicated otherwise.)

Today, I’m going to approach a difficult topic, mostly because it’s been on my mind and heart for quite awhile and there are probably a lot of people who wrestle with the same questions I do regarding God’s perspective on an issue that affects a lot of people’s lives in this day and age. I’m talking about the subject of divorce.

I’m not digging into this topic in order to look at every reason divorce occurs. I think we can all accept the fact that none of us are perfect and failed relationships occur because of selfishness. After all, if we all loved like Jesus, divorce simply wouldn’t happen.

However, because of the Fall and mankind’s innate self-centeredness, God set up some guidelines for handling certain unacceptable behaviors within the marriage covenant. I call them the three A’s that equal the great “I”: adultery, addiction, abuse. And they all stem from “I”-centeredness, or in Scriptural terms: Idolatry of the heart.

Thank God, not everyone suffers from the 3 A’s, but all of us, to varying extents, suffer from the Big I. As believers in Christ, we are called to continually submit our attitudes, words, and behaviors to the refining work of the Holy Spirit through His personal touch, His written Word, and fellowship in His Church.

Since we have all hurt one another at times, I praise God that Jesus set an example for us when He said to the self-righteous religious leaders, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” (John 8:7). He reminded them of the Father’s heart when dealing with broken rules, “What God desires is mercy and not sacrifice” (Matthew 12:7).

Jesus set an example of mercy that we are commanded to follow, so when someone admits their failures and repents of how they’ve hurt another, we don’t hold their pasts against them. We recognize with gratitude that God’s mercies are new every morning, and we seek to extend the same grace He does (see Lamentations 3:22-23). We extend the second chances that Jesus, at the Cross, purchased for all of us. After all, if not for grace, who could stand? As believers, we recognize that our right-standing with God is through the righteousness of Christ alone.

But there is another question pressing on my heart, a question that a number of pastors will answer with a definite yes, but with which I painfully disagree. The question is this: Is divorce always a sin? And the question that automatically comes after it: Is remarriage after divorce to someone other than the original partner always sin?

I believe the heart of the Father as well as Scripture answers to both: Not always. It depends.

To make a judgment call on a behavior, one must know the reason behind the action. First, sin is anything that separates us from God. It’s rebellion and pleasing self above pleasing God. It’s the big “I”. Second, sin is always a matter of the heart, which may or may not be identifiable by behavior.

Let me give two examples among many in Scripture. First, consider Mary, the mother of Jesus. When she became pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit, her neighbors and family judged her. Joseph, because he was a God-fearing man, felt he had no choice but to divorce her. But her heart was right with God (Matthew 1:18-20). Her pregnancy was not the result of sin but of complete surrender to God’s will (Luke 1:38). Second, consider Jesus healing on the Sabbath. The Pharisees were irate that He would break a “holiness” law by working on the Sabbath. Jesus declared that the Father was more concerned with setting captives of demonic bondage and human suffering free than in keeping traditions and the appearance of holiness. (see Luke 13:10-17, 14:1-6, 16:15)

These examples do not refute the fact that all too many divorces occur simply because couples are not willing to submit to the refining work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Relationships, especially family ones, are the primary place where God teaches us to love sacrificially. He said to husbands, “Lay down your lives for your wives as Christ laid down His life for the Church” (see Ephesians 5:25-29). In a culture of instant gratification and give-me-my-rights mentality, too many people tell an unhappy wife or husband, “Sure, go ahead. You’re unhappy. Get a divorce and find someone better.” That’s not the Father’s heart. 

God will never advocate divorce as a quick out when a relationship gets costly, and godly leaders will be diligent to remind struggling couples of the verse in Malachi 2:16, “God hates divorce.” Then they quote Jesus in Matthew 19:6, “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” And if someone’s really intent on divorce, an even more humbling verse is applied: Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9).

At this point, couples can submit to the Word of God, fall to their knees and beg the Holy Spirit to give them the power to love even when it seems impossible. And God hears their prayers. Or they can harden themselves to the Word of God and say, “I’ll do what I want. God wants me happy.” And they don’t understand that a change in circumstance isn’t where joy lies. Joy rests in the bosom of the Father, doing His will, and heeding His voice.

But what about a third scenario? The scenario that occurs when any one of the 3 A’s is involved: adultery, addiction, or abuse. This is when one spouse cries out for God’s love to be able to endure the inexcusable and love the other spouse even in the midst of extreme pain and repeated offenses while the other spouse keeps right on doing their “A”, unbelieving or uncaring about how much their words, attitude, and actions are hurting others. In this scenario, after crying out for love that surpasses human love and receiving it yet still enduring great pain and torment, the spouse with the soft, gentle heart cries out, Oh, Lord, who can stand?

Ministers will point out that separation is permissible within Biblical guidelines. Separate in order to reconcile…which in some cases is sufficient to bring a spouse to recognition of his/her harmful behavior, words, and attitudes. But what if it isn’t?

Jesus said, “Moses allowed a man to write a divorce document because of the hardness of your hearts.” (Matthew 19:8) Whose hardness then? I think a lot of believers live with an abusive spouse because they are afraid of the condemnation of the church if they are the ones to initiate divorce.

Which leads me back to my initial question: Is divorce always sin?

To answer that, I have to ask a couple more questions. First, can God sin? No, of course not. Second, can God condemn something He Himself has done? No.

So let’s read Jeremiah 3:8-10. “She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. But that treacherous sister Judah had no fear, and now she, too, has left Me and given herself to prostitution. Israel treated it all so lightly—she thought nothing of committing adultery by worshipping idols made of wood and stone. So now the land has been polluted. But despite all this, her faithless sister Judah has never sincerely returned to Me. She has only pretended to be sorry. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (NLT)

This Scripture leads us to a dilemma. God says He hates divorce yet He declares that He divorced Israel. How can we reconcile these two seemingly contradictory statements? We know God isn’t hypocritical, so the answer lies in context. What is the context of God initiating a divorce?

Idolatry.

Not adultery. That is simply the metaphor used to explain why God hates idolatry so much. So what is idolatry? Not just the pagan idea of bowing before a statue. Ezekiel 14:2-5 tells us idolatry goes much deeper than that. It’s rooted in the heart. “These people have set up idols in their hearts.” In fact, in Jeremiah 8:9-12, God takes it a step further. He outright states to those in rebellion: “Behold, they have rejected the word of the Lord, so what wisdom do they have? Therefore I will give their wives to others, and their fields to those who will inherit them, because from the least even to the greatest everyone is given to covetousness, from the prophet even to the priest, everyone deals falsely…. Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No! They were not at all ashamed, nor did they know how to blush.”

“I’ll give your fields and wives to others.” This statement is in the context of slaying the idolaters. Throughout the Old Testament, God brings this indictment: “You are covetous liars, pretending to love God but living for your own pleasures and covering your sins with religious jargon and rituals” (see Isaiah 58:1-4). Jesus brings the same indictment of those who serve in appearance, “They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. But all their works they do to be seen by men…. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation” (Matthew 23:4-5, 14).

Religious, emotional, and psychological abuse within marriage are even more rampant than physical abuse. How do I know this? Because the statistics show it. Physical abuse never stands alone. It occurs after the stage has been set with verbal beatings and a destruction of the partner’s self-worth. Psychological abuse manipulates the mind, making the partner believe they are going crazy because the lies they recognize with their heart are always denied and rationalized and the abuser is always changing the “rules” of the relationship. Emotional abuse happens when a person is devalued, told they deserve to be hurt, and that they’ll never be good enough. Religious abuse occurs when the other forms of abuse are justified with religious verbiage, including Scripture. Religious abusers quote verses that highlight the spouse’s “sins” and put the abuser in charge. Both men and women can use Scripture as a cloak for vice.

How sad.

And God hates this abuse and pretense even more than He hates divorce.

He said to idolatrous Israel, “Because of your transgressions, I have written you a certificate of divorce” (see Isaiah 50:1). God was calling them out on their sins and refusing to be united with them anymore.

He still calls abuse out today, in any form that it occurs.

Idolatry sets “I” up as god. Ask anyone who has come out of the abused end of an abusive relationship. They’ll say immediately, “Yes, my spouse/partner wanted my total obedience I was to be completely subservient to his/her will or I was disciplined (punished). I had no voice.” In essence, an abuser wants worshipped.

When abuse occurs, the abused as well as the abuser always has a choice. The abuser has a choice to repent of following the pride of Lucifer and setting themselves up as god (see Isaiah 14:12-17). The abused has the choice: Do I obey (worship) God or man? (see Acts 5:29)

Remember the temptation in the desert? Lucifer, now Satan, said to Jesus, “Fall down and worship me.” Jesus rebuked him completely, “The Lord your God, Him only will you serve” (Matthew 4:8-10).

Pornography also is a sin of idolatry. And Jesus said to even look at someone with lust (sexual fantasy) is also adultery (Matthew 5:28). He wants to expose the heart. He also wants us to understand how intensely God feels about idolatry/sexual immorality. Idols/lusts of the heart are equal in God’s eyes to the outward action.

Remember what the Apostle Paul said? He said, “How can we eat at the Lord’s table and the table of demons?” (I Corinthians 10:20-22) He said the table of demons is a symbol of idolatry. And he said we have to choose: whose side are we on? Are we going to serve God with a pure heart, or worship demons?

Did you know that the call to “put away” foreign wives in Ezra 9-10 and Nehemiah 13:23-29 was the only way back to holiness that the priests offered? In Old King James’ English, to “put away” meant to divorce. It’s the same verbiage that prophets used in calling people to “put away” the foreign gods among them. In the Old Testament, the Israelites were commanded to put strange wives from them because their foreign wives had introduced foreign gods (idols) into their homes. These men wept in grief, but did as they were commanded because of their deep desire to be right with the Lord. At that time, the children from these unions were considered contaminated by sin and were also put away (Ezra 10:1-3). In the New Testament, Paul declares such an action is not needed if the unbelieving partner is willing to stay because the children are consecrated by the believer (see I Corinthians 7:14).

Paul further writes that if the unbeliever chooses to depart, the believing spouse is not under bondage to remain in the marriage or under bondage of the Law’s condemnation (I Corinthians 7:15). We are not responsible for someone else’s choices.

However, there are times when an abusive or idolatrous partner refuses to leave. An abuser’s mentality views the spouse and children as “property.”  The status and control they have the relationship is exactly what feeds their ego, so they will use anything—whether physical battery or religious condemnation—to keep the other spouse in submission.

Dear Ones, the Holy Spirit is continually calling His people to purity and full submission to HIS Lordship. He will call us as a couple if we will listen, but He will honor our free will and call us as individuals if He sees that one partner is willing to submit but the other spouse continually hardens his/her heart to the conviction of the Holy Spirit (see Hebrews 3:7-13).

He calls us to “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you” (II Corinthians 6:17). The Apostle Paul writes, “If the unbeliever is willing to stay, let him/her remain. Do not divorce them” (see I Corinthians 7:12-13). Why? Because God is drawing the hearts of the lost. But for those who “profess to know Christ but in works deny Him”, God has a stricter demand (see Titus 1:16 and Matthew 18:15-17). His convicting presence will confront that son or daughter until they repent or outright rebel. This rebellion will often escalate the religious abuse and any other abusive behavior against the people who dare bring accountability. In Jeremiah 44:15-27, Israelite men were confronted with allowing their wives to worship idols, but they refused to repent. They sided with their foreign wives, and Jeremiah told them that God would no longer speak to them.

Furthermore, the Apostle Paul states clearly in I Corinthians 5:11-13, “But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person…. Therefore, put away from yourselves the evil person.”

Dear Friends, are there ever circumstances where God grants permission for divorce, declaring it is no longer sin but rather a pursuit of holiness? I am answering a definite Yes. In cases where the refining process has brought one spouse to the Cross while the other spirals into darker idolatry: The answer is Yes.

Even more than that, in such cases, His “Yes” to divorce is an act of mercy.

In the Old Testament, a man or woman who deliberately defied God through idolatry or adultery was to be taken out and stoned (see Deuteronomy 13:6-10 and 22:22). In certain cases, where the offense was subtle yet malicious, the Lord smote the offender Himself. Think of Abigail’s cruel husband, Nabal, whom the Lord killed. Abigail then accepted David’s proposal of marriage (I Samuel 25:37-39). Think of Tamar’s marriages, where God struck down the men for their refusal to fulfill their God-ordained duty to her (Genesis 38:6-10).

Today, suffering spouses are crying out in their heart for God to protect them, cause a radical change of heart in their spouses, or get them out of a relationship that only hurts them over and over. Yet, as they seek counsel, there are still church leaders today who heap on shame and condemnation, contributing to men and women staying in marriages that are not marriage at all because the abuser has turned the union into a master-slave relationship. And the abused goes along with the sham to keep the outward appearance and avoid being labeled with a scarlet letter.

So Jesus in His mercy peels off the label “Marriage” and exposes the slavery and idolatry it’s turned into. And He reminds us of that Scripture, which says if a brother (or sister) has sinned against you and refuses to repent after the church has confronted him gently on the error of his ways, to treat such a one as an unbeliever (Matthew 18:15-17). And I believe—no, I know—that Jesus gently whispers, “I know the truth, little one. Don’t be afraid anymore. I’ve come to set the captive free” (Isaiah 61:1).

When we dare to believe, the yoke of oppression lifts as the last vestiges of our union dissolves like mist. Because the Holy Spirit can never be one with the demonic spirit that an unrepentant heart has embraced (see I Corinthians 6:15-17 and 10:14-22). So we are set free while the Father whispers, “I’ll pursue my lost son or daughter. I’ll never relent. How can I give them up? My compassion and pity overwhelm me!” (Hosea 11:7-9)

 And in His great mercy, He says, “Divorce” and relents from decreeing “Death.”

He wants to set two captives free.

But I can only make the choice for me.

Yet this realization leads us to our second weighty question: Is remarriage after divorce to someone other than the original spouse sin?

After all, Paul the apostle says that a spouse who separates or divorces is to remain single or reconcile the marriage (I Corinthians 7:10-11). If a divorced spouse(s) repents and shows a genuine change in attitude, word, and behavior then reconciliation is possible.  Even when God divorced Israel, His ultimate intention was to bring them back into union with Himself (Jeremiah 3:12-14).

But HOW was He going to bring them back? Not as idolaters (adulterers, addicts, abusers), for holiness cannot embrace uncleanness and light cannot fellowship with darkness (II Corinthians 6:14-16). Instead, God declared, “I will make a new covenant with you. I will put a new heart in you and give you a new spirit. I will write my laws on your heart so you will obey me and know me as the Lord” (see Ezekiel 36:25-27) In other words, God’s plan throughout history has been to redeem us out of darkness, purify Himself His own special people, and fellowship intimately with us by giving us as a chaste, pure bride to Christ (Ephesians 1:4-6, II Corinthians 11:2).

When we trust in Jesus’ redemptive work on the Cross, we are united with Him. We become “one spirit with Him” (I Corinthians 6:17). In this way, marriage represents the beautiful intimacy and union that God has created us to have with Him. Reconciliation and remarriage, therefore, would only occur after trust has been reestablished that both partners will pursue the Lord’s will and heart for marriage together.

But what about remarriage when the other partner remains single?

In today’s society, this question is generally waived but for those of us who want to be remarried (or have remarried) a Godly person, when we read the Word and because we have a deep longing to walk in the will of God, the first-glance answer provokes an intense pain. It would seem that, except in cases of out-and-out adultery, Jesus is sentencing us to a life spent waiting either for the original spouse to repent and genuinely change (which may never happen) or being single, even when we have children to raise and a God-given desire to experience what marriage was meant to be.

First, is there any hope of reconciliation? Second, what does mercy for the abused say?

As shown above, divorce in many cases is the Lord’s mercy. In cases of the 3 A’s, it is meant to bring freedom to a captive and not punishment.

In Romans 7:2-6, Paul explains how grace in Christ Jesus swallows up the requirements of the law. He explains it in the context of marriage: “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead that we should bear fruit to God. For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death. But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.”

In other words, our union with darkness has ended. In fact, we’re the ones who have died to that old way of life! We’ve been buried with Christ and raised with Him, so Paul is able to exclaim with joy, “Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us” (Romans 8:33-34).

So then God does not deal with us according to the past but according to our present identity in Christ. We are beloved children of God, and “If God be for us, who can be against us? He who did not withhold His only Son but delivered Him for us all, who shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32)

 Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” The glory of the New Covenant is that blessings are given, not earned. In fact, Paul says we’re foolish if we believe after we’re saved that we have to now earn the goodness of God in our lives (Galatians 3:1-3). Our Heavenly Father delights to lavish His love upon us, and because our righteousness is in Christ (and not by keeping a law-code), we can be confident that He will work all things together for good and withhold no good thing (I John 3:1, Galatians 2:16, Romans 8:32, Psalm 84:11).

This means we can trust our Father’s heart. We don’t have to go out there looking for a new spouse, for God promises to be our Husband always (Isaiah 54:5-6, Hosea 2:19-20). Neither do we have to live under condemnation, believing that because we’re divorced God can no longer bless us with a beautiful marriage (Romans 8:1-4). Jesus is a personal God, and He deals with us on an individual, unique, and specific basis. He speaks to us as individuals and leads us along the path He has created for us into a future He created for us before time again (John 10:27).

Divine Union

“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.”

I Corinthians 6:17

At the beginning of creation, God designed marriage to illustrate a vital truth about His relationship with humankind: the loving fellowship, mutual service, and intimate fidelity between creature and Creator. The unity of two distinct items does not occur merely as an exterior bond, such as two lanterns glued together, but as a shattering of the glass that keeps each flame apart followed by a merging of the two flames into one. For the human soul united with the Triune God, this experience can be pictured as two hearts of flesh, soft and pliable, ripped into pieces by pain and suffering: the first, a human soul broken by the realization he or she can never be good enough or strong enough to be everything God requires; the second, Christ’s soul broken upon the Cross when He took upon Himself all the sins of the world. At the moment of divine union, all these hurting pieces are gathered together in the grace-filled hands of God then fused together into one new heart by the power of the Holy Spirit, the pieces intermingled to such a degree that every thought, every emotion, and every desire vibrates with love for the other.

As with every experience of God, divine union occurs only through sheer grace. No amount of ascetic piety, good deeds, vigilance, or temperance of heart and soul can merit divine touch or divine presence. God, by His very nature, is Love; therefore, He longs to pour Himself into every human soul. However, like an adulterous wife, each of us runs after other loves, and so He waits. He waits for us to come, broken, before Him, longing only for Him and for His touch. Brokenness produces humility, which frees a believer from the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—all of which hinder the awareness and experience of God’s active presence in a believer’s life. God knows the moment when the soul is so depleted of all false, fleshly, and demonic loves that He is able to pour Himself utterly into the cavity of the believer’s heart, enabling the believer’s emotions and neurons to experience a pure and fulfilling mergence with the fullness of Love Himself.

Origen of Alexandria, one of the earliest Church fathers, perceived this passionate romance in the Song of Solomon. He wrote in his commentary, “It seems to me that this little book is…a marriage-song, which Solomon wrote in the form of a drama and sang under the figure of the bride, about to wed and burning with heavenly love toward her Bridegroom, who is the Word of God. And deeply indeed did she love him, whether we take her as the soul made in his image, or as the church…who has been joined to him.”

Indeed, the Bible is replete with analogies of Christ and His people being presented as Husband and Wife. The prophet Hosea utilized mystical language when he presented Yahweh’s passionate appeal to His people: “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her…. And it shall be, in that day, says the Lord, That you will call Me ‘My Husband’ and no longer call Me ‘My Master’. I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness and you shall know the Lord” (Hosea 2:14,16,20).

For the New Testament believer, spiritual transference into the Kingdom of God occurs at the moment of salvation: accepting Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9-10). At that moment, this person receives the Spirit of adoption, through whom we cry out, “Abba, Daddy!” (Romans 8: 15). We become members of the Church, Christ’s bride (Revelation 21:7-8); yet Christ’s love is not limited to the whole. Instead, divine union occurs as a subjective experience within an individual because the Lord passionately pursues and bestows His loving grace upon each individual member (I Corinthians 12:27).

As a Christian struggles to overcome sins of the flesh and of the mind as well as demonic temptations, the covenant of spiritual marriage to God is much like the legal document signed by husband and wife. The covenant is solid and binding, declaring a legal truth: the two are a couple. Yet, as with every human marriage, acting as one takes time. Every decision made for the good of the other person, with a conscious awareness and desire to act in accordance with the spouse’s will, deepens the feelings of intimacy. Such degrees of intimacy also exist in a believer’s relationship with God.

Unfortunately, since encountering the Risen Lord is a subjective experience within an individual’s heart, some Christians believe the only way to be free of spiritual deception is to reject all mystical experiences. They believe spiritual unity occurs in heaven, apart from feelings, through a believer’s adherence to fundamental doctrine and Biblical morality. However, late Christian counselor Brent Curtis points out in his book The Sacred Romance, “Above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. It cannot be lived primarily as a set of principles or ethics. It cannot be managed with steps and programs. It cannot be lived exclusively as a moral code leading to righteousness.” Many Christians in both Protestant and Catholic traditions testify that God can be experienced through the senses and that He desires to reveal Himself in this way.

Bernard McGinn, professor emeritus at the Divinity School of the University of Chicago, explains the lifeblood of mystics throughout Church history: “The mystic wants to penetrate to the living source of the biblical message, that is, to the Divine Word who speaks in and through human words and texts.”  Evelyn Underhill, a contemporary Christian mystic, summarizes the muscle tone of a mystic’s heart this way: “The Christian mystic therefore is one for whom God and Christ are not merely objects of belief, but living facts experimentally known first hand; and mysticism for him becomes, in so far as he responds to its demands, a life based on this conscious communion with God.”

TobyMac, a popular Christian pop/hip-hop singer, expresses divine union with beautiful clarity in his song Captured. Speaking of Jesus, he says, “Like blood in my veins, You’re my sustenance. The moment of trust, the ‘me’ becomes ‘us’, the ‘we’ become ‘one’. Your gift is my gust of wind ‘til we meet again. All I want to do is get into You. You’ve got me captured by Your love. All I wanna do is stay here with You. You’ve got me raptured. Can’t get enough!” Yes, Jesus is real, present, and powerful, and He disregards man-made religious boundaries. He is Himself, the Word of God made flesh, and He is above all human pride, fear, and prejudice. For a mystic, spiritual connection with Christ means that the unseen indwelling of the Holy Spirit develops into a deeply felt, conscious awareness of Christ’s interior and exterior presence.