My Protector

God is an awesome Protector! I’m so thankful He’s my Abba Daddy.

When I first became single again, a vast world of possibilities opened up to me or so I thought. I was free from negativity, criticism, and oppression, and I inhaled the fresh air of freedom with joy and gladness. Accompanying my joy, a deep longing to experience a kind, giving relationship bloomed inside me. I had a vault full of treasure to share and I longed to find a gentle, loving man to give it to.

My joy and motherly instincts attracted attention. A divorced man with two kids asked me to coffee. I suggested we meet at a park instead. He called me on the phone and my heart ached to mother his children and have my own home to care for again. Because I always seek to give grace, I brushed off the somewhat demeaning and arrogant way he talked to others. I told myself his jokes weren’t meant to be harsh. After each conversation, however, I felt a warning that his beliefs weren’t quite in line with Scripture. Attached to his kids, I kept downplaying the growing unease I felt. I offered to babysit his children, but God stepped in. He brought me into contact with people who told me a little more of this man’s background and his children’s strange behaviors. Torn between feeling judgmental and sick to my stomach when he talked about Sophia, a so-called Biblical member of the Trinity, I experienced a demonic attack. I knew exactly where the spirit had come from. A meeting with a new friend confirmed all the suspicions I had been trying to explain away. The man was into witchcraft and even boasted of being able to make his daughter fall asleep on command. I told the man I couldn’t hang out with him anymore because he did not have the same spirit as me. That week, he left the church.

God knows how difficult it’s been for me to learn to heed His still, quiet voice immediately. Attending college at the same time as me, an older man shared his story about a horrible war zone experience and his resulting PTSD and drug use. Clean and sober, he was determined to help others defeat addictions, for which I greatly admired him. I began praying for him and had received several visions of seeing him transformed by the love of Jesus. A year later, he and I ended up in the same class together. His eyes sparkled whenever he talked, his manner showed kindness, and he suggested getting together. I was excited to share the hope of Jesus, and overcame my usual reticence, giving him a music CD and my phone number. He said he’d call me, but as he shared a story about a former girlfriend, the Lord flashed the word “player” across my mind. I wanted to ignore it, but as he waved my number, I said, “I make friends with many kinds of people.” He didn’t call me. I started to feel really bad about the way I had phrased my boundary. I found his number in the phone book and called it, but the Lord already knew: the number was disconnected. As I threw away the paper I’d written it on, instantly it flashed into a condom. I prayed and prayed, listening to the man in class, watching his words and actions take on an aggressive manner around me. He was so strong on my heart, I pushed past his coldness and gave him a book on the Father’s heart. Daddy God wrapped my heart in His love, but the man’s warm, twinkling eyes were building a deeper attraction in me. I begged God for a clear answer, and God answered my prayer. I came to school at an unusual time and saw a woman with her hand on his thigh. She was enough of a friend and espousing Christian that later I asked her about his moral values. She laughed as she admitted he had slept with every willing girl on campus as well as her. Later they married, and I thanked God for forewarning and protecting me.

These incidents as well as others have solidified in me the necessity of heeding the gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit. God knows the spirit and nature of a person and reveals the truth when we ask.

Although I based on the title of my first book, Love that is Blind, on a 4Him song about the basics of life, I know now that Love is not blind. Our Father God sees clearly, forgives continually, and empowers us with the ability to change. That’s grace! He also puts up firm boundaries for our protection, warning us not to seek unity with someone who pursues worldly lusts.

Our Abba Daddy desires to protect us from toxicity, especially in romantic relationships. He desires marriage to be a fountain of blessing for a lifetime, but that can happen only when both partners live in surrender to Him.