Belief and Praise

In October, 2001, I miscarried a little girl. I didn’t get to see her perfectly formed in this world, but I did see her beautiful and glorious in heaven. You see, my Daddy, who feels our every grief, gave me a vision of this child He created. She was standing in the courts of heaven, arms upraised, praising God and worshipping Him…a beautiful teenage girl arrayed in white.

Psalm 45 says, “Listen, O daughter, consider and incline your ear. Forget your own people also and your father’s house; so the King will greatly desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord, worship Him…The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace, her clothing is woven with gold. She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors. The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You. With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought; they shall enter the King’s palace.”

Like my daughter Praise, we too are called to seek the face of the King with purity and joy, with abandoned worship praise regardless of our circumstances. We are created for His Presence, just like she was, though we go through the struggles of living in a sin-torn world.

When my Papa God showed me Praise in heaven, peace flooded my weeping heart and He promised that He would give me more children (my son, Asaph, was one years old at the time). My faith was small, but I knew my Daddy had spoken. I rejoiced in the healing His presence brought. However, as a month went by, I began to demand that I get pregnant NOW. You see, when God speaks a word sometimes He fulfills it immediately but sometimes He seeks to heal other areas, refine our character, and strengthen our faith as we wait.

On December 28, 2001, two months before I became pregnant with my daughter, Jirah, I wrote in my journal: “Where are my dreams gone? Scattered like dust over a thousand hilltops. Yet here I will stand as the strong winds beat against me. What is the one thing I have left? There is hope in You. Within the circle of Your arms, I stay. In the circumference of Your love, I dwell. Here now I see are the things I so desperately clung to pulled away. You hold them in readiness, appoint them in Your plan. Nothing is lost from Your hand and neither will I be if I quiet my soul in You. Lord, be my magnificent obsession.”

I could have written these lines all over again yesterday. Why? Because I see people with the blessings that God has promised me. In 2001, I saw other people with babies and children and resentment swelled from hidden cavities inside me. I wanted what they had and it wasn’t right that God wasn’t fulfilling His promise. But God’s ways are better than ours and just like back then, I have to hand my brokenness, my anger, and my self-pity to Him.

Have you received a promise from the Lord? Have you heard Daddy whisper your name and say He’ll move heaven and earth to bless you because He loves you so much? Believe Him, Beloved. Even when every  fiery dart of the enemy wants to lodge itself in your heart, don’t give up. Keep pressing into Jesus’ heart. Seek Papa’s face. Don’t turn away from what He’s said or veer off course to try to regain control. We want what Jesus wants for us, and He has perfect timing. Love on Jesus!!!

“When destiny pushes you to the edge of desperation and the limits of your abilities, cast your future into the hands of God and take a leap of faith! Begin by focusing on Him, and ‘dance with the One who brought you on this date with destiny’.” –Finding Favor with the King, Tommy Tenney