"Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God." ~II Corinthians 9:10-11
I'm so thankful for the breakthroughs God gives us in our perspectives and thought-processes. Often, I don't even realize that I'm thinking the wrong way. I only know that I'm struggling with doing the right thing. Usually my struggle revolves around the realization that I've stopped reaching out to people because I've become fearful of rejection again.
Each time the Holy Spirit puts His finger on this issue, He exposes another layer of misunderstanding about His heart and His ways. Recently, I had once again begun withdrawing then emotionally whipping myself for failure. God reminded me that He doesn't expect me to be like other people in the way I reach out, minister, and give, but I didn't experience breakthrough until He highlighted the parable of the sower and the seed to me (Matthew 13:3-8, 18-23).
I had recently heard a sermon on this passage at church, and the Holy Spirit began to speak to me. First, He reminded me that the seed represents more than just evangelistic words but the total heart of God. The seed represents every act of love, every gift of faith, every word flowing from Father's heart. He said, "Giving time, energy, and resources where there is a need is seed. Your writing is seed. Extending friendship is seed. Patience and mercy is seed. Worship and prayer are seed. And, of course, telling people about Jesus is seed."
As I continued to struggle, not with a desire to obey but with how obedience looked for me as the unique individual God made me, the Holy Spirit spoke again. He knew exactly where to put His finger to free me of the condemnation I was feeling, releasing me to step out in faith again. He said:
"You are not responsible for the soil of other people's hearts, Daughter. Only for scattering the seed. The sower in the Word took no account of the state of the soil. He didn't attempt to assess if the seed would grow. He simply threw it liberally all around, everywhere he walked. He tossed the seed and let it fall in every type of soil. And he let God bring the results.
"Scatter the seed and don't look back. Don't hole up to see whether the seeds are growing or to judge yourself by the result of your labor. I don't judge you by other people's soil. Their soil doesn't determine the quality of the seed. You scatter good seed when you store up My word and truth in your heart, when you soak in the love and power of My Presence. I judge you only by your own soil.
"You stop to asses if there's fruit in others' lives and flail your own. But I'm not that way. I see the sower and I see the soil. I see where you've tossed out seed, and I'm not calling you to make it grow. Toss and keep walking. Toss and don't look back. Toss out the seed as you keep going forward in your daily activities and the opportunities I place before you.
"Store up the seed of My love and word in your heart and let it grow within you so that it will always produce in abundance and you'll have more than enough to share. Toss and do not fear."
~Your Daddy God
